Saturday, January 28, 2012


Hey everyone, my website it changing. This site will still be active but everything new will go to

Check it out, bookmark it, pass it along to friends, make up a glorious cheer for it! Ok, I'm getting carried away...just go look at it.

Thanks everyone for following!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Ali Krieger - The One and Only

I’ve written before about Ali Krieger, about the epidemic which has taken over the nation known as Krieger Fever.  I spoke of her beautiful smile, her impeccable skill, her undying determination.  Well now, given recent events I want to touch on that determination again.  And also that smile.  Because let’s be honest; it has literally been proven physically impossible to talk about Ali Krieger and not mention those pearly whites.

For anyone unaware; Ali Krieger, US Women’s National Soccer team starting right back, was recently injured in an Olympic Qualifying game in Vancouver.  As she struck the ball (quite beautifully I might add) and came down on her right foot a Dominican Republic player came in reckless, high, and late.  The result of this extremely painful looking challenge we have now found out is a torn ACL and MCL.  I don’t want to focus on the injury itself.  As much as I would love to rant about the irresponsibility of the ref for not calling this tackle and the player for such a reckless and dangerous challenge; I instead want to focus on how we all know that our girl, Alexandra B Krieger, is a warrior who will fight her way back to the top. 

In my last piece I focused on her playing abilities; on her amazing skill, composure and all around soccer brilliance (and her smile).  This time I want to look at the person behind it.

Beyond her obvious athletic prowess and her fierce determination she is also one of the nicest people you could imagine.  I had the privilege of meeting her briefly after a practice here in LA this past camp.  As she waited patiently for a fan to find their sharpie she struck up a conversation with the rest of us as if we were old friends.  “How was your Christmas?” “Did you enjoy your holidays?” “How have you been?”...were a few of the questions she asked as she genuinely waited for responses.  I will say that this entire team is filled with gracious athletes who all take ample time with fans and it is amazing to see.  I will also say I believe Ali is the perfect example of just how incredible they are with fans.  She has a kindness and a genuine likeability about her that just makes you feel welcome and thrilled to be around her.

Ali is also quite possibly the most positive person I have ever seen.  It’s true.  It’s actually kind of sickening.   A cynic wouldn’t stand a chance around her.  She would turn them into an optimist with a quick flash of her smile.  Her ‘#allsmiles’ hash tag tweets and her positive outlook in everyday life is something all of her fans love seeing; and what we admire about her so wildly.  This is why I am 100%, no…200%, eh, actually…infinity% sure (is that possible?) that she will come back from this quicker than anyone could ever imagine.  And when she does she will still be at the top of her game, smiling all the while.  The fact that she is a fitness monster will also undoubtedly help.  Ali is…well…she’s a freak of nature.  (As are many of the women on this team) Her dedication to her game and her physical fitness will shine through during this tough time.

When I call Ali a warrior or a fighter or a bad ass chick who could take down an entire army with one arm tied behind her back…I am not exaggerating.  (Well, maybe a little with the army bit.  Please don’t test that one out.)  She has proven her commitment to the game and her determination to fight back from all odds.  In 2006, at 21, she was hospitalized due to blood clotting in her lungs leading to 6 mini heart attacks.  Her dedication, determination and positivity all contributed to her rejoining her team at Penn State senior year to finish out her college career after this life threatening condition halted her momentarily.  This new injury is now just another bump along her road.  A road that we are all honored to get to watch roll out in the career of one of our greatest defenders of all time.  She’s like our  own real life Road Runner.  You can try to set as many traps and drop as many anvils on her as you want to, but it will do you no good.  There is no stopping her and this injury is no exception.

The few tweets I have seen from her since the injury happened have all been well spoken, inspiring and confident.  She knows just as well as anyone that this is part of the game.  Injuries happen, and quite often they unfortunately happen at the most inopportune times.
This is just another injury of another athlete but I felt compelled to write about it.  It was either write, or go hunt down the player who did this to her.  But I decided crossing Canadian boarders on a mission to orchestrate a hit on an international soccer player wasn’t the smartest idea.

Just as she is smart, composed and strong on the field she will be the same in her recovery I am sure.  Her presence will be missed greatly and no one can replace everything she has to offer in the right back position, but this is a deep team filled with overly capable players.  I know her presence on the sideline will be crucial as well though, being a motivational leader to her team.

Ali, we are all wishing you the fastest and most successful of recoveries.  I don’t mean to sound selfish, but we’re all going to be eagerly awaiting your return.  So…I mean…you should probably hurry it along…like really…hurry.  You’re an inspiration on and off the field and one of the best defenders in our history in my opinion.  So please come back to us soon.  Positive thoughts and wishes will be sent your way every day from your army of fans.  Thank you for your continued hard work and best of luck!

By the way…if you need any entertainment while recovering let me know.  I specialize in air guitar, dancing to 90’s pop music, lip singing to 80’s hair ballads and falling down / running into things (not by choice) which leads to entertainment for those around me.  Keep it in mind.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Tobin The Magnificent

Audience if you would; please look at the soccer ball.  Do not take your eyes off of it.  Do not look away or even blink.  Tobin The Magnificent, is about to take the field and defy the odds of gravity, probability and logic using only her feet and this ball, wowing you with dazzling displays of skill. 

That is the introduction I feel is necessary for one Ms Tobin Heath every time she takes the field.  I suppose it may be a bit much to ask, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

Tobin Heath for those of you who have had the distinct displeasure of not knowing; is a midfielder for the US Women’s National Soccer Team and also a member of Sky Blue FC in the Women’s Professional Soccer league.  She comes from Tarheel blue, being alumni from North Carolina which automatically makes her a favorite in my book.  She is a young player with skill on the ball which befuddles the average brain.  When she steps on the field it is part soccer, part magic act, part dance routine.  As she zigs, while making the defender zag, she dances over the ball and fluently disappears behind the defense putting herself into a scoring opportunity.  I will admit, watching Tobin can be frustrating too though.  When I first started seeing her play I blamed my TV for months that every time she got the ball the TV would skip and somehow make me miss something.  But then I came to realize it wasn’t the TV.  It was Heath making a move so quickly over the ball that the human eye cannot catch it.  It’s like trying to keep up with an Italian on speed telling a story about their family; impossible.  The moment you think you know what her next move is, is the moment you are left in the dust.

She is known for not only being a skillful player in the heat of battle when it counts, but also a crafty trickster full of unimaginable talent during ball trick battles with fellow team mates.  If you ever get tired of watching sleeping animal videos on YouTube (I know, that’s not even fair though.  Who gets tired of that?!) search for some of Tobin Heath’s trick battles and various YouTube trick videos.  You will not be disappointed. Let’s just say, when Tobin goes for a simple walk it’s not quite as simple as you would think.  Those of you who have seen her ‘Tobin Heath Walkabout’ video can testify to this fact.  Those of you who haven’t seen it need to do yourselves a favor and begin living a life of fulfillment.  You can start by watching that video.

Her shot placement is another factor to her game that leaves us all astonished.  If you told her to get drunk, spin around in circles, blindfold herself and kick the ball from 40 yards out and hit the upper corner of the far post; she would not only do it successfully, but she would giggle about it afterwards which makes it even better.  Tobin giggling makes everything better in the world, in case you were unaware.  Her shot placement and control over the ball is just astounding.  A thesaurus isn’t even going to come up with enough correct adjectives to describe how incredibly controlled and crafty she is.  Trust me, I tried.  I laughed at the thesaurus in its meek attempts to fully embody this skill in words.  So I vote we create a new phrase of words.  Tobin’s skill is…….Tobinifiably Heathabulous.  Yes.  That’s it.  Lauren Cheney mentioned in an interview that Tobin is the craftiest player she has ever played with and I am sure that anyone who has played around this young phenom can agree.  When she is not dribbling around defenders, or placing a perfect shot in the exact spot that she intended she is most likely creating some pretty nifty (yes, I am 24 and use the word nifty. Deal with it.) passes in the midfield.  Her vision for the game is spectacular for being such a young player.  She reads the game well and is able to find the connecting passes that will move the ball forward effectively.  Her aptitude for this cannot be overlooked.  Without connecting players like that in the midfield you just have defense and offense.  With nothing in the middle connecting the two you are going to have one lousy game.  The USWNT has a phenomenal midfield obscenely full of talent.  Her passing abilities and calmness on the ball help control the game and bring fluidity to it that is needed.

I briefly mentioned earlier, her undeniable ability to make the world a better place with her smile.  Yes, this line should remind you of the Mary Tyler Moore theme song because Tobin Heath can, in fact also turn the world on with her smile.  In fact, I say someone needs to just follow Tobin Heath around for a day playing the Mary Tyler Moore theme song.  Just the thought of her walking around town, smile on her face, bobbing her head from side to side to that song makes me feel overwhelming happiness.  Which brings me to my next point where I would like to address Tobin, directly.
Tobin, in my humblest opinion I feel you may be wasting a crucial asset. You’re skill and talent are undeniably phenomenal and I believe you can dribble your way out of just about any jam the world throws at you.  But as a backup, in case you are ever at a loss of how to get around a certain defender, may I suggest simply stop, say hi to them, strike up a conversation, smile and laugh.  Your laugh is as infectious as it is awesome.  I dare anyone at that point to not let their guard down, relax and just want to give you a high five and laugh along with you.  At which point, you will of course do the polite thing by giving them the high five they have asked for…just before blowing past them as they stand there laughing in a total state of joy, unsure how they got there.  It’s just a thought…maybe run it by Pia…but I don’t see how it could fail.  It’s basically bullet proof.

Tobin Heath is not only talented, skillful and impressively athletic; but also seems kind, gracious and to have a great head on her shoulders.  The future of this young star is endless.  I cannot wait to see what mind blowing goals and assists she has in years to come for us, as I know they will be plentiful.  I also cannot imagine her being anything less than crucial to helping the team bring home a gold medal this summer.  Each game she plays in begins a new act of her endless magic show that we are all lucky enough to be audience to.  I for one, cannot wait for the next act to begin.  So I am going to go grab some pop corn and get ready for Tobin The Magnificent to grace the stage again.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Our Very Own Captain America - Christie Rampone

The year: 2065. The planet: Earth. (Correct, we will make it past December 21st, 2012) The Headline: US Women's Soccer Legend, Christie Rampone retires at the age of 90.

Those of you who think I am being hyperbolic obviously haven’t seen Christie Rampone play recently. She is 36 years old, has had two children and will smoke you up and down the field all day long. I'm really not even sure how to describe this amazing woman. (I use the term 'woman' because 'soccer machine robot lady' has not been properly copy written and trademarked yet. But I am fairly certain that is what she is.) Since I can remember, I have loved the US Women's National Soccer team. I remember being a young girl watching stars like Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, Julie Foudy and Kristine Lily (who I believe also may be a 'soccer machine robot lady') grace the field. Right along with them was the rock, the solid force known as Christie Rampone.  And here she is, more than a decade later still playing some of the best soccer you will ever see.

Rampone is a strong, reliable and communicative central defender. Aka Hope Solo's best friend. Her presence cannot be underestimated.  She is a physical presence on the field with talent oozing out of her pores and is also a vocal presence who directs, communicates and organizes this amazing team.  Yes, if we did not have Abby and Alex and Lauren all scoring goals we would not win games. But if we did not have Rampone directing traffic, organizing the back line and mid field and shutting down every delusional attacker silly enough to think they will get past her; then our lovely ladies up top would never have the chance to score those beautiful goals. They say all offense begins with defense, I say all offense begins with Christie Rampone. I'm not sure if any of you remember that little game we played against Brazil this summer? I think there was a late goal involved...penalty kicks...something like that. Remember? Well go ahead and rewind about one minute before Abby buries that ball in the back of the net and take a look at who started that play. Take a look at who was hounding that Brazilian attacker relentlessly with determination shooting out of her eyes and tracking her every move until forcing the Brazilian forward to turn the ball over starting our attack. That's right...our woman of steel, our Captain America female soccer version...Christie Rampone.  All offense starts with Christie Rampone.

She not only offers up inspiration by the ton on the field but she is also an inspiration to working moms everywhere. I can't really comment on the whole mom thing too much seeing as how I am not a mom. In fact I tend to veer away from children, as they are normally squeaky and sticky. (Christie, if you're reading please understand I am not implying your children are squeaky or sticky. I'm sure they're squeak and stick free.) But I can tell you that those who are moms; moms who want to achieve success in their career and still win a mom of the year award have Rampone to look up to. She has two awesome girls who travel with her and will be able to grow up knowing that they can do anything in life that they set their minds to. She is living proof of it through not only her amazing career but also her positive and inspirational outlook.

Now let's just briefly talk about her fitness levels. She is...her fitness is...when she...because I mean…her level of...ok I thought I could put it into words but apparently I can't. Let me try again. SHE IS THE FITTEST HUMAN ALIVE. Yeah, that works. Scientists, doctors, and any people of the medical profession: may I recommend doing some research on this specimen? Unlocking the secrets behind this perfectly trained and toned body could quite possibly lock in a Nobel Prize for whoever succeeds. She is a perfectly running machine that most 20 something year olds (myself included) would kill to be half as fit as.  I know many other soccer fans will agree that when we sit down and watch those fitness training segments that US Soccer will post from time to time we are all left in awe of every one of these women.  This team is filled with athletes who are beyond committed to their fitness levels.  Watching Kelley O’Hara and Ali Krieger run a beep test until they are barely able to walk, or seeing Abby Wambach bench press what I estimate to be 5092 pounds, or seeing Alex Morgan and Heather O’Reilly annihilate sprint times is all just incredible to see.  But I think we can also all agree that watching Christie Rampone just makes us all a little sick.  Christie, I don’t mean to be rude, but you kind of disgust us; in the best way possible.  It's overwhelmingly amazing.  You’re dedication to this team, to your fitness, to developing your skill and the skill of those around you is something that should never, ever be overlooked.  When us fans sit down and watch these fitness training videos and see you just dominating everything it is truly inspirational.

Briefly, before I wrap this up I just want you to picture something for me.  Imagine you are dribbling a soccer ball down the field.  You have found a seam and gotten behind the defense.  You look over your shoulder and see Rampone is the closest to you but is still yards away. You smile confidently knowing you just need to beat the keeper 1 v 1.  But wait…all of a sudden you are on the ground, you don’t have the ball anymore, and the US has already started a counter attack.  What happened?!  You have been Ramponed, my friend.  You can never, and I mean NEVER underestimate the abilities of this superstar.  But let’s be honest; this scenario will only happen once in a great while anyways.  Although her recovery speed and ability to back track is phenomenal her ability to not have to do either is equally as good.  She puts up a wall in the center of that back line and basically says, “You are not getting anywhere near my goal and my goalkeeper.  You can either face me and be humiliated or you can just hand over the ball now and walk away with your tail between your legs.”  I do not envy any forwards who come across her path.

Determined, focused, humble, versatile, inspirational, passionate, abnormally talented and freakishly fit; a few words in a feeble attempt to sum up this American legend.  Ecstatic, giddy, euphoric, joyous and proud; a few words in a feeble attempt to sum up what we all cannot wait to feel this summer at the 2012 Olympics when Christie Rampone leads the US Women’s National Team to victory.

Christie Rampone is now, and forever will be our very own Captain America and my absolute favorite soccer machine robot lady.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

If You Don't Know What WPS Stands For-Go Sit In Time Out

Think back to July 10th, 2011.  Where were you the moment Abby Wambach’s fantabulous head buried a cross in the back of the net behind a stunned Brazilian goalkeeper?  I was sitting in front of my TV weeping like a little child over a lost imaginary friend.  But of course, tears of joy.  This is no shock because I have been a devout fan of women’s soccer since I could say the word soccer.  (My verbal skills weren’t killer so this came a little later in life than you would expect, but you get the picture)  The thing that was incredible to see though was the fans this moment gained for women’s soccer who hadn’t given it a second look before.  The whole country stopped, watched, screamed, cheered and Tweeted their asses off.  Now I have a question for you all… 

Did someone forget to send out the memo to the country that these women play in a professional league here also?

During the Women’s World Cup there was enough women’s soccer spirit to fly the women’s soccer sleigh around the world. (It’s Christmas time…bare with me on the themed analogy)  And the support for them when they came home from Germany continued with TV interviews and people taking a genuine interest.  While our girls were all the way in Germany battling it out, the whole country was behind them.  They could feel the support from thousands of miles away.  So if we can support them from across the pond, why can’t we support them when they’re in our own back yard?

Women's Professional Soccer (which is in fact, WPS...for those of you sitting in time out) saw a very positive increase in ticket sales including a 15,000+ crowd for the first game back in Rochester, NY after the Women’s World Cup.  Yet, the league came inches from folding recently.  I would say “it’s time to put your money where your mouth is” but I hate that expression.  I’m not putting my money anywhere near my mouth.  Do I look like I want to get hepatitis?  But essentially, that’s what we need. (Money…Not hepatitis)  If you say you became a fan  of women's soccer during the World Cup, now is your time to prove it.  I understand the World Cup is a higher level of excitement than any league can offer.  But it doesn’t change the level of talent, skill, determination and poise that they play with.  That will all still be there when you tune into WPS on TV or head to a game.

This past week I was lucky enough to catch a short documentary by Jun Stinson called “The 90th Minute” ( to see the trailer and learn more).  It was a look at the lives of three professional players and what it’s like to play for WPS.  It gives a glimpse into what a true athlete with pure love and admiration for a sport looks like.  Not only was it beautifully done, entertaining and informative but it also brought up the question that all women’s soccer fans are racking their brains trying to figure out; WHY?  Why is this league having such a hard time finding success?  I spoke to Jun after viewing it and thanked her for putting together such a great documentary.  More people need to get involved with out of the box ideas like this to support the league and raise awareness for it.  There are far, far too many people who will still give you a dumbfounded look when you use the acronym, WPS.

So here are two of many thoughts I have on the whole thing…

Let’s be honest; the sports world is no longer separate from Hollywood.  Sports and Hollywood are now combined into the celebrity couple Spollywood.  They haven’t adopted any babies from third world countries yet, but they have taken a whole lot of NBA, NFL and MLB players under their wing.  When I see basketball players at red carpet events I don’t know if they’re promoting a new album that Timbaland is producing, because they play for the Lakers, or because they’re Kim Kardashian’s newest husband.  They are not only athletes, but ‘A list’ celebrities reaching people who don’t even watch the sport they play necessarily.  Hope Solo took a brave leap into this world by partaking in Dancing With The Stars which I hope will act as a gateway drug to more publicity through TV and Hollywood.  Every time one of these women appear on a show (not sports related) that is a huge success in my book.  The talent in the league is undeniable; it’s there.  But now because of the newlywed, Spollywood, the league needs publicity in other media outlets.  WPS is filled with beautiful and funny girls with great personalities.  It’s time that people got to see that side of them so they can relate to them and be drawn in.  Individually they do a great job of marketing themselves.  I just hope to see extra support for them to continue doing it through more media outlets to reach more people.  (Ellen DeGeneres, I am still waiting on a call back from you to get some women's soccer love all up in your show.  I'll assume you just lost my number, it's ok.  No hard feelings.  But me.)

Next, I hope WPS remembers that people over the age of 13 are the ones paying for the tickets and merchandise and therefore need to be marketed to.  We get it, WPS; young girls love women’s soccer.  But so do young boys, adult men, adult women, elderly men, elderly women and dogs of all ages! (Proof: My parents’ dog completed a glorious victory lap after Alex Morgan’s goal against Japan and also watched a Lauren Cheney interview with me.  For research purposes she is a 2 year old female mutt and seems to really be drawn to Cheney and Morgan…and her red ball) It is a professional league, yet through their marketing it looks more like a D2 college league.  I’m not saying to neglect the younger female demographic by any means because they truly are at the heart of the fan base.  These are the girls who dream to someday be a part of this league, so we cannot underestimate their true dedication and love for it.  All I am asking is that it isn’t made out to look like they are the only fans showing up to these games on their way back from a Justin Bieber concert.

If you watched any of the Women’s World Cup this summer and can say that you found it entertaining, give the WPS a chance.  There is no gold medal on the line, it is not an epic competition held once every four years and it will not give you the chance to scream, “Suck it! Go home Brazil!!!” at the TV like a crazy person.  (Was that just me??) But it will give you the same brilliant athletes from our US squad plus many amazing international players as well; all playing at the highest level of the beautiful game.  If you say you supported them in the Women's World Cup you can support them in the Olympics next summer and most importantly; in the WPS.  Buy season tickets, make sure you get Fox Soccer Channel to watch the games and buy all the merchandise that your little soccer heart desires. 

In short, as they say…let’s all get hepatitis!  Put your money where your mouth is.

Monday, December 5, 2011

My Day With Ginny

I have accomplished many great things in my life.  I have……...give me a second.  Ok, got it…  

I have acted in plays and performed in shows.  I have been told I have the best white girl crip walk in my suburban upper middle class hometown.  I have been given prestigious titles such as “Class Clown” and “Night Surfing Champion of The World and Most of The Universe” (that one may be self-proclaimed).

And teachers assumed I would never amount to anything……Suck it.

But none of these “achievements” are as glorious as the one I am aiming for now.  This idea…this flash of light…this breath of fresh air that has swirled into my path has given me new found meaning.  Ok, I may be overplaying this a bit.  Let’s get to it.

I want to spend a day in a forest baking cookies with Ginnifer Goodwin and a group of well behaved magical elves.

I know what you’re thinking.  Trust me, I do.  And I thought the same thing for awhile; how could I possibly find enough activities to span over the entire day!?  Let me share…

First Ginny and I (we’re good chums now at this point so I can call her Ginny) will meet up at the forest’s edge with the elves.  We’ll begin our day at the crack of 11:35 am.  I will name each elf based on their appearance and demeanor then we will be on our merry way.  After a fun walk skip through the woods we will come across a field where Ginny and I decide to have a frolic.  The elves will set up our baking station in the trees while Ginny and I pick daises and prance about the field singing whimsical songs about fairy tales which we will make up on the spot.

Next, once the elves have assembled our baking station we will begin!  We’ll bake all sorts of glorious cookies in fantasy blumpkin shapes. (I’m unsure what ‘fantasy blumpkin shapes’ are, but I really like them and am determined to figure it out)  Once they’re done the fairies and nymphs come out of the trees to dance in the wind because they see Ginny and of course want to be a part of this magical day. 

All of this singing, cooking and eating will obviously tire us.  So we will all take happy naps in the field.  I’ll most likely spoon with the elf I inevitably name Lord Snugglekins. 

After our naps it will be time for pictures!  Ginny and I will take pictures with bunnies and chipmunks and squirrels who all comply of course because of Ginny’s magical powers over all that is cute in the world.  We will take a good mix of posing with the animals and also some action shots.  If you're wondering why I want the variations it's because we need a good mix for the photo album…don’t be silly.  Eventually, the elves will join but they will not…I repeat will not…make this about them.

And alas, when the day is done we will walk skip back through the forest to civilization.  The fairies and nymphs will fly back to the forest after accompanying us on our journey back.  The elves will disperse and go back to their elf families and elf homes which I envision to be a combination of miniature Santa workshops and Smurf mushroom houses.  And I’ll tell Lord Snugglekins I enjoyed our time together but we should just stay friends.

Then it will be time for Ginny and I to part ways.  We’ll make plans to tag each other in all the pictures and look into booking a recording studio for our fairy tale improv songs.  I’ll gush over what a great actress she is and what a fan I really am and thank her for spending the day with me.  She’ll ask for my number and email to keep in touch but then giggle because she knows she can just send a hummingbird or a forest fairy with a message.  Then we live happily ever after knowing we have lived a perfect day amongst magical elves, forest fairies, pretty daisies and fantasy blumkpin cookies.

The End

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dear Ellen - Help Save the WPS!

I think it’s time we stopped playing games, Ellen.  Yes, I’m talking to you Ellen DeGeneres.  It’s time to stop playing hard to get and making us swoon after you.  It was cute at first, but it’s time to acknowledge how badly you want to help out women’s soccer in America.  

I have written various pieces about my quest to work with Ellen DeGeneres and how it is a journey that began years ago.  (see “Dear Ellen: Will You Be My Disco Dance Partner” and “Are You There Ellen DeGeneres? It’s Me, Amy” in previous blog entries) Now it is taking on a new form though.  I am still 110% (eh, maybe 118%) behind my idea to come on as a correspondent for The Ellen Show doing sketches and interviews surrounding women’s soccer but there is a bigger issue at hand now.   There may not even be a professional league left next season.  So there is a large group of fans who do not want to see this league fail doing everything they can do to help it succeed and continue on as a prosperous league.  There is an old expression; the pen is mightier than the sword.  Personally, if I owned a sword and knew how to use it I’d be charging in on a horse, Knight-style demanding a league.  But I do not.  I know how to write…kind of…so that’s what I’ll do.

The Women’s Professional Soccer league (WPS) is in need of a 6th owner for a new team in order for the league to continue running.  Many of us fans are reaching out to a certain celebrity, Ellen DeGeneres to help save the league and become an owner.  I have a list of reasons why Ellen should get involved.

1-      Ellen is the greatest human alive. WPS is the greatest league alive. Done deal.

2-     Ellen showed support for the US Women’s National Team this summer during their run at the World Cup.

3-     Ellen would be an entrepreneurial owner; designing the uniforms with some Ellen flare, choreographing an opening number for the team to enter the field, hiring an English DJ to entertain during halftime AND she could instate an opening monologue into soccer. (Which I suppose I could fill in for her here and there on that one.  Hint, hint.  Wink, wink.  Subtle, subtle)

4-     Ellen would be able to turn a whole new viewing audience onto women’s soccer.  The viewers are out there, but without the proper marketing, exposure and air time they will never be given the opportunity to become true fans.

5-     The world without WPS would be far less bright and would leave great sadness behind.  This would cause Ellen to have to start working overtime in order to bring more laughter and light into people’s lives where there is now a giant gaping black hole of WPS-less existence.

6-     I used Arrested Development as an analogy in my last blog about saving the WPS.  Portia De Rossi, Ellen’s wife, brilliantly acted in Arrested Development and portrayed one of my favorite characters, Lindsay Bluth.  Brilliant yet under rated show / brilliant yet under rated league.  We saw what happened there; Ellen can't let it happen to the WPS too!  Brilliance needs to be rewarded.

7-     The WPS and Ellen are both all about good causes.  The WPS has been a strong supporter of Breast Cancer Awareness through “Project Pink” games and also various other local causes amongst the communities they play in.

8-    Piggybacking off #7…one of the teams, the Western New York Flash, held a dog day where they teamed up with the local ASPCA to find homes for animals and also encouraged dog owners to bring them out to the game.  Ellen is a HUGE advocate for animal rights and an animal lover.  The possibilities are endless in the amount of good Ellen could do through a team.

I could probably make a list to 100 if I had the time.  (Or the attention span)  But you all get the picture.  Ellen DeGeneres and the WPS would be a perfect match and I hope we get to see it happen.

Ellen, if you’re out there: Please consider this. If you need to make a pros and cons list I am more than happy to swing by your pad and speak with you.  We can make a list, have some coffee, dance, me you and Portia can go shopping, maybe play a prank on Taylor Swift…we’ll make a day of it.  After thinking about it you will see what a great opportunity this could be.  This league inspires young girls and shows them that they can succeed and live their dreams.  It inspires adults to stay active and get into shape by seeing such strength and endurance displayed.  It inspires parents to teach their kids to be healthy and active and it gives them role models for their kids to look up to.  This is a league with talent, skill, entertainment, endurance, aggression, grace, poise and it’s filled with athletes who possess all of those things plus a level head on their shoulders who are all smart, kind, and beautiful and they are idols to many.  Please help save this league and give it hope for the future. 

Call me up when you’re ready to sit down and discuss.  I’ll be by the phone in my Ellen wig dancing over a coffee table anxiously waiting. 

Also take a look....
Check out this site for sure. Great organization helping to put the word out there and gives instructions on how you can help!
Another way to help...a petition you MUST sign started by an awesome dedicated fan!
And yet...another way to help! Another petition! SIGN!